The Devil Within (On Hiatus)
by Jenasisity
Summary: "They should have at least asked how he had managed to get away, but everyone was just so relieved that he was home and that he was safe that nobody questioned anything, it just came to the assumption that he had escaped himself. They should have known Shredder had something up his sleeve." (2003 AU? Rated as is for death and later chapters.)
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Nope, tooooooooo tired to do this...**

 **Okay, yeah, _another_ new book. Eh, don't worry, I can multitask pretty well. ****Oh, and this is just the prologue, the next one is the actual Chapter 1! ^^;**

 **Well, anyways, enjoy!**

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 _ **Prologue:**_

It had started out just fine. Well, as fine as it could be after escaping the Shredder's center of operations after being held imprisoned there for a little over a week. Leonardo had disappeared that night. Just up and vanished. His brothers thought nothing of it at first, Leo was known to have to take a breather once and awhile, when the stress of leadership of both the clan and the team got too much after their father's passing, especially if it was after another heated argument with his immediate younger brother, Raphael. That was the first red flag they noticed. There had been no fight, and Leo had seemed fine, cheerful even, the whole day. The second sign was that he was out longer than he should have, even if it was a stress relief run. They knew something was wrong the moment the clock showed 10:00. Leo had been gone for more than thirty minutes.

Yeah, it might not seem like much of anything to any other, but it was everything to Leonardo. One minute, or even one second could mean the difference of life and death for the people he cared about most. He got home fast, so his anxiety would be settled quickly, for Leonardo loved his family more than anything, he couldn't bear to live without them so he didn't stray far and too long for fear that something would happen while he was away. So when Leo didn't return, they knew something wasn't right. So they searched…and they searched, and they searched. It was like he had evaporated into thin air. No evidence to where, or to why he had left, he was there and then just… _gone_.

They should have realized something wasn't as it seemed when, just over a week later, Leo came stumbling in the lair. But Donatello had given Leo a clean bill of health with the exception of relaxation and medication to help heal the cuts and bruises he had sustained from the physical beatings. But still, they should have at least asked how he had managed to get away, but everyone was just so relieved that he was home and that he was _safe_ that nobody questioned anything, it just came to the assumption that he had escaped himself. They should have known Shredder had something up his sleeve.


	2. Chapter 1: Another Loved One Lost

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. (I'm too tired to make it funny. Eh.)**

 **So, here's chapter one! Enjoy!**

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"Hey, Raph and I are heading out to the junkyard for a bit." Donatello called from the entrance. Michelangelo's and Leonardo's heads looked up and Leo nodded.

"Yeah, okay, just call if you need something or get into any trouble or-," Leo started before Raphael cut him off.

"Fearless, _relax_. We'll be fine. I won't let anybody or anything touch Donnie Boy here." Raphael's golden eyes met Leo's own amber orbs as reassured his eldest brother before walking out the door, soon followed by Don once he waved to his eldest and younger brothers. Not much time had passed when it happened, just maybe fifteen at least. One moment Leonardo and Michelangelo were seated together on the couch then the next Leo was on top of Mikey. Mikey couldn't react for a moment just due to the complete shock of his eldest brother, his protector, enfolding his fingers around his neck and squeezing hard.

Michelangelo's eyes widened as the oxygen was stolen from his lungs. When he had finally wrapped his mind somewhat around what had just happened, that his _brother_ just attacked him and now was trying to _kill_ him, he had enough sense to start to fight back some. Struggling, his own hands clamped around his brother's arms and started to pull and push to dislodge his aggressor's hands from his neck. Somehow, Mikey managed to get his feet between Leo and his own stomach and with as much strength as he could muster, he pushed, sending his older brother flying over his head, thus finally freeing his neck of Leonardo's strong hands.

Wheezing and gasping, Mikey rolled to his hands and knees, coughing hard as his aching lungs took in the much needed and even more appreciated air. His head snapped up at the sound of scrapping metal. His eyes widened as he saw Leo ever so slowly and terrifyingly unsheathe his katanas. Mikey's petrified baby blues traveled from his brother's blades to his face and what he saw made him physically flinch in confused horror. Gone where his brother's beautiful gold sprinkled amber orbs, replaced by two pools of unsettling blood red. His brother's face was emotionless and it unsettled Mike to no end. No matter how angry or upset Leo got, you could still always find love deep in the depths of his actions, words or expression, but now, his actions where one of an enemy, his lips spoke no comforting words and his face was impassive and cold.

Leonardo pushed forward, his blades aimed to kill. It was all Mikey could do just to duck in time. Leo swung around, his katana one with its wielder, both intent on slaying the orange banded ninja in front of them. Leo came at Mikey again, but this time Mikey was too slow, his sluggishness earning him a deep cut on his collarbone. Mikey winced at the pain and chanced a quick look to assess the damage, but that was all the time blue cladded warrior in front of him needed to make his fatal move.

He moved faster than Mikey could even blink, both his blades cutting down in perfect synchronization as they traveled diagonally down Michelangelo's chest, cutting deep. Blood splattered and Mikey's pupils shrunk immensely at the agony and shock mingled. Michelangelo fell to his knees, then the floor, a pool of red gathering steadily around his figure. The sound of clattering made Mikey look up and he registered his brother before him. Not the cold warrior, filled with triviality and malice, but his warm and loving big brother. Leonardo's amber eyes were on his bloodied blades, filled with confusion and alarm.

"L-Leo…" Mikey's pained murmur sounded strangely loud in their now silent living room. Leo's head snapped to Mikey's figure and his eyes widened and pupils shrunk dramatically. Looking from his bloody hands and blades to his bleeding baby brother lying on the floor before, horrified understanding and terror registered in his eldest brother's eyes as he took a retreating step back without even realizing it.

"N-No…I didn't…I couldn't of…" Leo's eyes never left his hands as his stuttered sentence came out pained and distressed. His eyes traveled back to Michelangelo's wrecked form, his brother's eyes were closed and the red puddle kept gathering around him.

"N-No…no, no, no, no! _No_! Mikey!" Leonardo collapsed to his knees beside his youngest brother's broken body, gathering him in his arms, tears slipping down his cheeks.

"Mikey! God, wake up! Mikey, wake up, please, _wake up_!" Leo sobbed as he screamed, shaking his youngest.

"Donnie! Raph! Somebody, _help me_!" Leo cried as he looked around through blurred eyes at the empty lair, his mind drawing a blank at what to do to save his youngest brother. Looking back at the broken figure in his lap, Leo wasn't even able to tell if his brother was still breathing though his tears. Leonardo cradled Michelangelo close to his chest where he felt like his heart was suffocating.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He sobbed into Mikey's neck as he mechanically rocked both himself and his brother slowly. Leo's head snapped up with a gasp as he felt a weakened hand touch his hand. Blinking, Leo made out Mikey's baby blues through his tears. Leo moaned when he noticed how dull and pained they looked.

"Mikey, Mikey, _Ot_ _ō_ _to_ , please, just hold on," He whimpered as he wept, stroking his brother's sweaty forehead. Mikey's hand came up and he placed it gently on Leo's face as his thumb stroked Leo's cheek.

"N-Not…your fault," Mikey whispered breathlessly. His eyes held so much love in their light blue depths in that instant that Leo couldn't do nothing more than shake his head slowly as tears streamed down his cheeks for he had to watch as the light slowly left those stunning sea blue orbs.

"P…Promise me…that…that you won't…blame yourself," Mikey whispered as he fought to keep his eyes open. When Leo whimpered, Mikey forced his eyes to open a bit further and his hand stilled on Leo's face as he willed his light blue eyes to harden.

"Promise…me… _Nii-chan_." Leonardo sobbed at the endearing name. Placing his forehead to his baby brother's he whispered what Mikey so desperately wanted to hear in his last moments.

"I-I promise." Michelangelo smiled tiredly as his eyes closed partway.

"I…I love…you," Leo whimpered as he closed his eyes for a second, the tears that lingered there spilling over at the action. Leonardo's lips parted to reply when his brother's hand fell from his cheek.

Leo's eyes snapped open and he looked at his youngest's face. Michelangelo's eyes were now closed and he had an almost peaceful look to him. Leo's eyes widened and he stroked his brother's cheek lightly trying to get a reaction, not unlike Mikey had done for him not seconds earlier.

"M-Mikey?" Getting no reply, dread sunk its sharp claws into Leonardo's chest, making it harder to breathe.

" _Mikey?!_ " Leo cried, when no reply was given a second time, Leonardo's face twisted in emotional agony at what this meant, and his eyes glazing over once again with new tears. Leo wrapped both his arms tightly around his brother's motionless body and burying his face in Mikey exposed neck again, sobbed and screamed out his despair to the world.

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 **I know that Leo is way, _way_ out of character here, but I kinda like the idea that he can be like this if something this bad where to happen, you know? Plus, this is an AU, so they should still have all their regular traits, just they show their affection for each other through kisses (cheeks/foreheads), hugs and cuddles, etc...AND NO, THIS IS NOT TURTLECEST, JUST BROTHERLY LOVE TO A DIFFERENT LEVEL. xD You dirty-minded children! **


	3. Chapter 2: Fly Away Home

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them. Though we can dream.**

 **Okay, here's the second chapter. Be prepared to have your heart ripped from your chest and repeatedly stomped on! xD And let me just say this: I sincerely apologize in advance Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael. ^^;**

 **So, without further interruption, please enjoy! =D**

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Leonardo's sobs had quieted, but tears were still rolling down his cheeks when he heard the elevator door open, reveling his two other brothers. ' _Just two,'_ His suffering heart screamed at him. He didn't move at all, still clinging tightly to the youngest in his arms, even if he was long gone, separated from them to be reunited with their father once again.

"What the hell? What happened here?!" Raphael's voice snarled as he automatically flipped out his weapons, same as Donatello. They clearly hadn't seen Leo yet, if how their postures screamed they were ready for an enemy to attack said anything. Now that Leo's attention was off his youngest brother, he finally looked around, for the first time actually seeing the extent of the damage the lair had took. The damage _he_ had caused. With this, came a whole new wave of pain and he nuzzled his brother's head, knowing that he wasn't going to get the same back, but still hoping. When the horrid reality made itself painfully clear again, Leo couldn't help but let out another tortured sob at what it meant, the unescapable agony it caused.

 _That_ gained the attention of the two brothers still in their battle positions. Leo heard Donnie's bow smack against the concrete floor, he caught Raph's cussed gasp, but he still didn't even show that he knew they were there. His attention was solely on his baby brother lying deathly still in his arms.

"M-Mikey?" Donnie's voice was a bit higher than normal, laced in alarm and horror. Leo heard his hurried footsteps running to them and then was gently pulled out of the way by Raphael who had followed as Donnie placed his fingers on Mikey's neck. They all heard when Donatello cried out in anguish as he started pumping his only little brother's chest.

"Come on, Mike, you can't do this, you _can't_ , _please,_ " Donatello's voice cracked and his eyes glazed over with tears when he saw the wounds on Michelangelo's chest. He was a doctor and he knew that those kind of wounds couldn't be healed with ease, that they were lethal.

"No…oh god… _oh god_ , no," Donatello moaned as he gathered Michelangelo in his arms and close to his heart. Donatello's forehead found Mikey's and the tears spilled down his cheeks as he rocked with the intensity of this torment just as Leonardo had. As Donatello's face twisted with the agony, he brokenly whispered the parting words he would have spoken had he been there for Michelangelo's last moments though the accompanying sobs. It was then that Raphael swayed from where he was and finally fell to this knees behind Leo.

"No…M-Mikey, this is just a twisted prank, right? You got Leo in on it too, don't you, you Knucklehead. Bro…come on, wake up…. _wake up_!" Raphael had crept towards both his little brothers during his accusation and at this point was right next to Donnie, who had his face hidden in Mikey's shoulder as his body racked with his cries. As Raph took in Donatello's state, his eyes widened as his mind provided him with the fact that Donatello had given up on saving their baby brother and he quickly grabbed for Mikey's limp hand, but completely froze when he felt just how stiff and cold it was rapidly growing. Raphael's other shaking hand gently cupped his baby brother's face as his gaze searched for any of the signs that his brother was still there.

" _No_ …" It was both a plea and an understanding at the same time and it was what finally brought tears to his eyes.

"Mikey…" A single tear slipped down his cheek before his grief was quickly overcome with fury. Swirling around to his eldest brother, he snarled out his question with a hate he never felt before.

"Who the hell did this to my baby brother?"

The response he got wasn't one he would have dreamed of in a million years. Leonardo cowered back and his eyes were filled with such agony, Raphael wanted nothing more to help lessen it and he started forward with a hand outstretched when his older brother's next sentence stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I-I didn't mean to!" The sobbed confession had Raphael narrowing his eyes in both rage and building horror at what this meant.

" _What_?" The question was spit out in such rage and hostility, Leonardo shrunk even further before his rival in complete distress and misery.

" _You_ did this?" Raph was battling with such confusion, anxiety and rage directed at so many different things and people, that he didn't see how his tone and aggression were effecting his brother before him.

"Raphael!" Donatello's hard voice cut though his thoughts and he realized that his older brother was cowered before him in complete and utter submission. Raph blinked in horror. This was Leonardo they were talking about here. The warrior that loved his family wholly and was devoted to his clan and brothers fully. The leader that helped them survive through thick and thin, pulling them up and keeping them marching forward when they fell. The big brother that protected them from their worst fears and dangers. There was no way Leo could have done this.

"Leonardo," Raphael spoke, and bent in front of his brother. Leo shrunk back even further when his brother did so, his whole frame shaking with sobs. Raph hated to see his eldest brother like this, so… _broken_ , so he reached out and placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. Leo flinched when he did and Raph took it a step forward and using both hands, he cupped Leo's face in his fingers gently and made his amber orbs maintain eye contact with his own golden gaze.

"Leo…what happened?" His voice was gentle and Raph did his best to throw away the anger and grief that he knew was in his eyes. This was no time for his usual tough and harden exterior to make an appearance.

All Leo did was sob wretchedly and before anyone could stop him, tore himself from Raph's grip and ran into his bedroom, slamming the door and both his younger brothers heard his lock click before tortured cries sounded.

Raph moved to go after him, but a hand on his arm physically stopped him and he turned to find Donatello's tear streaked face gazing at him.

"We…we have to take care of Mike," He whispered as his voice shook and broke and his body once again started shaking. Raphael immediately wrapped his little brother, his _only_ little brother, in his arms as they both fell to their knees beside Michelangelo's still body.

As Raphael could help but take in his baby brother's peaceful face and the final tiny smile curved on his lips, he realized that he would never get to see that bright smile again. He would never get to hear his brother's laughs or girlish shrieks when they wrestled together. No more pranks. No more jokes or annoying schemes. He would never see those beautiful baby blue eyes open and watch as they sparkled in humor and mischief. It was gone now. It was all gone. He was gone.

It was then, with that comprehension, that Raphael let his pride and rough, hotheaded façade drop, and bowing his head, he finally let the tears roll down his face.


	4. Chapter 3: Numbing The Senses

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them...not yet at least...**

 **Well, anywho, here's chapter 3! Once again, a sad, sad chapter a sad, sad day in the lives of our beloved ninja brothers. I once again deeply apologize Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo. Oh, I'm so evil. Hehehehe. xD**

 **So, enjoy! =D**

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When the two brothers had decided to move their youngest's body after the initial devastated and distraught grief had someone became a little more bearable, Donnie and Raph went about cleaning the body up and readying it for burial or cremation, whichever the rest of the family chose for their baby brother's remains. A little later, Donatello was still hovering over the body, just finishing the cleaning.

"I…I keep thinking he's just gonna open his eyes, jump up and scare the crap out of us, you know? But then…I…I remember…a-and those w-wounds," Donnie's voice broke as he gently stroked his younger brother's now pale cheek. Raphael looked up with red, dull golden eyes and took in the sight of his purple banded brother's tear filled eyes, but had to diver them when he felt the sting return as he watched a single tear slide down Don's cheek, while he continued to look at Mikey's peaceful face. Donatello seemingly broke a few seconds later as he collapsed on Michelangelo's now cleaned chest, the cuts already having been stitched.

"I-I didn't get to say goodbye! I didn't ever tell him just how much he meant to me! H-How much I _loved_ him!"

Raphael practically flew from his chair and almost tackled his brother as he latched onto the genius, pulling him from their youngest brother for the second time and directing him to his own chest. Donnie clung to him as his knees buckled soon after, taking them both to the floor, where Donatello had yet to stop his whimpered sentences.

"A-And now…I…I will _never_ be able to! All I did was holler at him to get out of my lab, or-or stop being annoying…when…when all he wanted was to spend time with me!" He had to pause multiple times to either calm his gasping breaths or try to get his words out around his emotional pain filled moans and tears. Soon enough, the sobbing slowly ebbed away until it completely stopped and Raphael wasn't really surprised to find that their mastermind was sound asleep. Today had been a really unbearable day, after all. Filled with indescribable pain and emotional turmoil and torture. As he gently gathered the smaller turtle in his arms and quickly and quietly managed to get his brother into the futon in his own room, for he knew Donnie wouldn't be able to deal with the unpleasant truth in the lab, after he wondered in there from his adjoined bedroom in the morning, not remembering the events which had taken place today.

After he had deposited his brother in the bed without waking or disturbing him, he made his way back to the lab. Pausing in the doorway, he felt his eyes sting with the tears he had held back earlier, now letting them free since he was alone. Numbly walking into the center of the room, where the cot where Mikey's motionless body rested, he fell to his knees. Unrestricted tears glided down his cheeks as he let his bad boy mask slip again. Raising a shaking hand, he griped his brother's limp hand in his own, while the other did as Donatello had earlier, caressing the pale cheek with gentle fingers. Raphael opened his mouth, but the only sound that passed his lips was a strangled sob. He cleared his throat before trying again.

"Mike…Mikey…ya know I'm not one for words…and I don't know if ya can ever hear me anymore, from wherever ya are…but…I'm sorry, I'm so…so sorry. I'm sorry for pickin' on ya…for callin' ya names…for…for _everything_. I know…know I wasn' the brotha' I should of been, the brotha ya deserved. I…I love ya, Mikey…I love ya so much…I'm so sorry it had to come to this for me to tell ya that…and….and it's too late now I know…much too late." He finished softly, in a whisper as he gripped his brother's lifeless hand tightly as tears streamed down his face as his body shook with silent sobs.

Hours seemed to have passed before he even righted himself and got to his feet. Giving his baby brother's forehead a gentle, affectionate stroke, he walked from the room and down the hall. He was planning to head straight to his own room and get in bed with Don, but that train derailed as soon as he saw Leonardo's closed and most likely still locked door. As he paused in front of it, he could still hear sobs originating from inside. Lightly tapping, he tried the knob. Surprised to find it unlocked, he tried to not go flying in, knowing that would do more harm than good in this situation, instead, he lightly tapped the door as it opened.

The heap of blue blankets was shaking harshly.

"Leo…b-bro?" Keeping his voice calm and soft, though hesitant, he made his footsteps known as he slowly walked into the room, before gently closing the door. Looking back at the bed, he found that the mound hadn't stopped its shaking, though the sobs were much quieter now.

"Leo?" He tried again and about jumped ten feet when the blankets moved just an inch. He knew he was on a minefield here, and one wrong move could lead to the slowly ticking time bomb blowing up right in his face.

"W-What?" The answer was dull and lifeless and Raph sucked in a breath. Never had he ever heard anyone sound like that, like they were still breathing, but that was the only thing keeping them alive, almost like they felt dead and lost inside. The first thing that came to his mind was to ask if he was okay, but Raphael knew that was an impeccably stupid question right now. They had just lost their baby brother. Nothing was okay right now. Nothing would be okay ever again in that sense, their baby brother was gone. Forever. The thought brought new tears to his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. Instead, he asked the one question Leo probably didn't want to even think about right now.

"Leo…what…what happened?" He instantly stiffened and Raph immediately backpedaled in terror, knowing he said the wrong thing and thinking he just blew the chancing at himself getting out alive, but he was surprised by the sudden, loud sobbing. His immediate reaction was to try to lessen that pain. As he strode forward, the hump cowered, as if scared it was about to get hit.

"Oh, Leo," Raph muttered sadly when his older brother flinched at his touch as he wrapped his arms around him. Leonardo tried to pull away, but Raphael held tight. Leo almost instantly gave up, giving in to the want for his brother's comfort. After a while of Leo just crying in his arms, he started whispering and as Raph listened closely, he could barely make out the repeated apologizes.

"I'm s-sorry, so, so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Raph pulled away and gathered Leo face in his hands again, like before in the living room. Looking into those dull amber eyes, Raph saw nothing but unimaginable tortured pain and haunted horror deep within. Raphael placed their foreheads together and Leo's eyes must have tripled in size with just that action, but the next sent him over the edge and his eyes widened as new tears slide down his face unhindered.

"Oh, _Nii-Chan_ …it wasn't your fault…whatever happened, I will never blame you," Raphael whispered forlornly, his eyes downcast. His mind wondered as he held his sobbing older brother. What had they done to deserve this? What had Leo done? What past sin had they ever do to have this hell descended upon them? What had Mikey done to deserve his fate? Why them? Because they were different? Because they were freaks to most of the human eyes? They helped people, protected people. They _saved_ people. Whatever had they done doing so that was so bad to deserve this horrid pain and suffering they were bring forced through right now?

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 **Oh, yes, I know. "You are vile vermin. How do you sleep at night? Mikey's the most wonderful person ever! And he loves his brothers! And they're awesome! And you're a monster. How dare you disrupt their relationship with your evil?! DIE, DIE, DIE!" Oh, you have to love the Bolt similarity to this. I'm sure it's how most of you are taking this new chapter right now. xD**


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